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The Most Stupid Review In Rock History


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#1 imhotep

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 06:40 PM

http://www.aversion.com/bands/reviews.cfm?f_id=3123

QUOTE
Rock's a realm of huge personalities, a place where modest, quiet-spoken types usually fall through the cracks. A place where everyone from Alice Cooper and Iggy Pop to Gwen Stefani and Justin Timberlake proved that, at least in the public eye, a charismatic front man's worth twice that of a shredding backing band.

Goon Moon's songwriting axis might have a thing or two to tell you about the rock's inequities toward the backing players. Jeordie White spent the better part of his creative career goofily calling himself Twiggy Ramirez and playing Robin to Marilyn Manson's Batman. After shaking out of Manson's world, he landed on his feet, sort of: Now he's one of those mostly anonymous dudes who fills out Nine Inch Nails' touring lineup behind Trent Reznor. Chris Goss, White's partner in Goon Moon, counts himself as a member of Queens of the Stone Age -- at least until band leader Josh Homme flips out and fires the rest of the band again.

So Goss and White haven't positioned themselves to be much more than hired hands working to elevate a charismatic front man. That doesn't mean the duo's completely defunct of songwriting talent. Stealing time away from their nine-to-five on major-label acts, the pair rev Goon Moon back up for Licker's Last Leg, and in doing so, hit up rock's most basic touchstones. Namely, finding a sleazy groove and riding it for all its worth and putting an almost religious belief in the power of the six string to save souls. And if the act's output isn't exactly monumental or groundbreaking (it takes more cues from QOTSA than ever before), Goon Moon's at least confident enough to make Licker's a solid effort.

Although Goon Moon isn't afraid to let a few experimental bits and bobs sneak into the mix (see the nine-minute, eight-section "The Golden Ball" and all its non-sequitur glory), the duo's essentially just another hot, sweaty rock outfit. "An Autumn that Came Too Soon" unfurls bubbles of distorted guitar leads and sleek arrangements that lend a little elan to straightforward rock. "Lay Down" and "Tip Toe" put a passive, laid-back twist on QOTSA styled rock, while "Pin Eyed Boy" is more fundamental, retreating into arena-rock trappings with big, juicy guitar leads and anthemic vocals. White and Goss' paychecks usually come from bands playing around on rock's edges, but Goon Moon's a chance to slip back into the easygoing world of no-frills rock.

Goon Moon might spark a little bit of interest in fans of Queens -- the act's most natural antecedent -- but it also proves something else: That when they're not backing up charismatic rockers like Homme, Manson or Reznor White and Goss still aren't ready to make the jump to full-blown front men.

- Matt Schild


Matt is a child alright.

#2 Sobchak

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 06:51 PM

wtf? that is ridiculous!
hahaha

#3 Firegrrrl

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 06:54 PM

opinions be opinions

#4 dark jon

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 07:09 PM

QUOTE(Firegrrrl @ Jun 14 2007, 07:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
opinions be opinions


Yeah, and some opinions are downright retarded.

#5 Sobchak

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 07:19 PM

Well I'm not laughing about the opinions, I'm more laughing about the "facts" he is spreading.

#6 Firegrrrl

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 07:26 PM

QUOTE(dark jon @ Jun 14 2007, 07:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, and some opinions are downright retarded.



The writer in western civilization has become not a voice of his tribe, but of his individuality. This is a very narrow-minded situation.

#7 Firegrrrl

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 07:26 PM

QUOTE(Sobchak @ Jun 14 2007, 07:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well I'm not laughing about the opinions, I'm more laughing about the "facts" he is spreading.



Yes, well, these things usually come back to kick peoples' asses-laissez faire

#8 imhotep

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 07:49 PM

This 'writer' clearly has an agenda writing this. What I don't understand is why he hates these guys so much and why he spreads lies about people.

#9 dark jon

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 07:55 PM

Because he doesnt have the facts smile.gif

#10 Firegrrrl

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 08:02 PM

QUOTE(dark jon @ Jun 14 2007, 07:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because he doesnt have the facts smile.gif


bingo bango

#11 Zombi3

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 08:26 PM

Poor guy probably couldn't hack it in the music world himself so now he's gotta pick on those who aren't popular to the nth degree.

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#12 TheAceRock.

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 10:47 PM

wow. the word 'ignorant' doesn't even begin to describe this one.

#13 Garfunk M. Rafferty

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 11:35 PM

"Goss isn't ready to make the jump to front man" should really be highlighted...

#14 Hellb0und

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Posted 15 June 2007 - 09:54 AM

"Opinions are like vaginas, theres a lot of them out there, some just stink more than others"

Can't remenber where i read this, but it fits this review, or just change vaginas for assholes.

#15 cweb69

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Posted 15 June 2007 - 01:26 PM

if i were responsible for writing reviews, or anything to be published for that matter, my number 1 concern would be getting the facts straight.  it would be totally embarrassing if i presented shit so terribly incorrect as fact.  i may half ass the rest of it, but i'd never screw up the facts.  fuckin fucktard!

#16 tangyzizzle

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Posted 15 June 2007 - 03:32 PM

my irritation at this review is offset by the fact that virtually all other reviews I've seen of this record -- and there have been quite a few -- have given it nothing but praise.

#17 tiago

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Posted 16 June 2007 - 03:33 PM

that matt dude is living on another dimension i guess .

#18 queentiddles1

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Posted 05 August 2007 - 08:19 AM

this matt guy is a total WANKER....... mad.gif

#19 Rayvee

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Posted 27 March 2008 - 12:40 PM

"...putting an almost religious belief in the power of the six string to save souls...."

Is that a bad thing?  I'd think any rock outfit that can pull that off has really accomplished something.

Ray

#20 nessa

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Posted 27 March 2008 - 01:51 PM

QUOTE(dark jon @ Jun 14 2007, 08:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE(Firegrrrl @ Jun 14 2007, 07:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
opinions be opinions


Yeah, and some opinions are downright retarded.


perfectly said.

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#21 andymacsa4

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Posted 27 March 2008 - 01:54 PM

Dear Matt Schild,

I know it's hard trying to make a living writing reviews. I know that sometimes, you just don't have the time to do your research. I know that sometimes, you think somthing is going to sound clever and cool, when in actuallity, it's completely asinine bullshit.



Honest to God, how lazy can you get? If you just punch in "Chris Goss" in FUCKING WIKIPEDIA you get this:
QUOTE
As well as being the founding (and only constant) member of influential desert rock outfit Masters of Reality, Goss is also well known for his production work on albums by Kyuss and Queens of the Stone Age. Largely credited as the Godfather of desert rock...


Yeah, I definitely read: "Chris Goss was one of the lesser known members of Queens of the Stone Age."


What a dumb motherfucker.

#22 Fuzz

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Posted 27 March 2008 - 02:24 PM

QUOTE(Firegrrrl @ Jun 14 2007, 07:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE(dark jon @ Jun 14 2007, 07:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, and some opinions are downright retarded.



The writer in western civilization has become not a voice of his tribe, but of his individuality. This is a very narrow-minded situation.


I really like that quote, what's it from?

That being said, any one who says Goon Moon is a "hot sweaty rock outfit" has interesting interpretation of reality.

#23 lense

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Posted 31 May 2008 - 05:45 AM

QUOTE(Hellb0und @ Jun 15 2007, 02:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"Opinions are like vaginas, theres a lot of them out there, some just stink more than others"

Can't remenber where i read this, but it fits this review, or just change vaginas for assholes.


I think the quote is "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, some just stink more than others" but the principals the same.

Personally I prefer "Opinions are like M&M's, everyone has a favorite color, but the green ones make everyone horny" it ends on a up note.

Anyway fuck this guy, nuf said, and just to go out on a up note ERECTION.

#24 Darbi

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Posted 04 June 2008 - 04:44 PM

Reviews are mostly bogus crap. That's right, a bogus crappy job some dude does to pay the rent and bills, ya'll.

Seriously, I love how in many "reviews," the author boasts for 95% of the artist's works or a show, and then takes that last little bit to stick it somehow, as if his or her criticism seems valid whatsoever, at that point.

Lame ass.




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