65 replies to this topic

[thejackyl]

My English professor looks exactly like Garth Marenghi. I think he's gay though.

haha oh man, i though i was the only one who knew about that show

[SordeoUnus]

In my old school our old P.E. teacher got fired coz he used to make us have a shower and watch us. i felt so used.

[SordeoUnus]

i had this teacher
He was kinda turtle looking... well every time a boy opened his mouth and said something
the teacher just answered back with a "ok, read your book"
but when a girl said something he said this "very interesting tell me more haha"

i found out a few days ago that he was fired from the school because he tried to rape a girl in the bathroom.

who would have seen this coming

Why is it that paedophiles are always teachers?.....
hmm, just answered my own question there

[Huldrekat]

I had a teacher called Norman Conquest.  No tales of him hitting boys or hitting on girls - just that his name is highly amusing.   It's a pity he taught chemistry rather than history, though.

[fifiroxy]

I had a creepy maths teacher
He would end class early so he could talk about how he used to get an erection when he had a bed bath from his nurse in hospital
(He broke his leg)
Then he would pick on someone, usually a girl, and take them into the stationary cupboard, lock the door and verbally bully them
Dont know how much further than that he ever got
Creep....

[brixton bruxelles]

I had a teacher called Norman Conquest.  No tales of him hitting boys or hitting on girls - just that his name is highly amusing.   It's a pity he taught chemistry rather than history, though.

hahahaha. what cruel parents.

we had an art teacher called John Lydon. nobody but me found that amusing though, because the rest of the class were all Bros fans.  

[Edna 90]

we had a very racist physics teacher. mr. boyce.
he took exactly 14 steps as he paced up and down the classroom teaching us of diodes, alternating current, force and such.
"what would black people know about physics?" he says one day absent-mindedly. a rhetorical question, i'm sure


then there's mr falvey. a maths teacher. he's a genius.
but a complete madman. he also practises kung foo. in our school gym. and proceeds to shower in the boys locker room promptly afterwards.
he also buttons up his shirt, halfway, for the ladies (saturday night fever stylee) and is very inappropriately pushy. a handsy man.

[Diesel]

I had this teacher that died from heroin overdose. He was always nice to us and cool! He never seemed like an user!
Who would have thought? .. people aren't just what they seem these days...

[plusone]

There was a drama teacher in my high school that always had a coffee cup full of vodka. Didn't even try to cover it up, clear, pure vodka. We didn't get a lot done in that class.

[redqueen]

My English professor looks exactly like Garth Marenghi. I think he's gay though.

haha oh man, i though i was the only one who knew about that show

Nope!

I'm sort of ashamed that I like it, but I do.

He was always nice to us and cool! He never seemed like an user!

What?

[JDizzle787]

Yeah, i think EVERYBODY'S had a pedo gym teacher at some point

[StrangeLight]

art teacher in high school. mr sevier. always wore a red labcoat with the number 42 embroidered on it. he is deathly allergic to all citrus products, and so we couldn't have oranges or tomatoes anywhere in the halls, just in the cafeteria. so no pizza, none of that. but every once in a while i'd see him walking through the caf, and i'd say, "sev, what the fuck are you doing?" and he'd shout, "i'm living on the edge!!!" really, just smelling that stuff makes him go for the epi pen, and if the smell is strong enough he has to be carted off to the hospital.

in his classroom he had an "out of context" wall. anything someone said, if it sounded dirty when taken out of context, he'd write in on the wall. that thing included such gems as, "i blew everyone in the class." "let me feel how deep your crack is." and my personal favourite: "it was hot and it was in my mouth so i swallowed it."

he would randomly break into french accents, and then start talking about coyote a lot. just lifting thomas king stories, really, but it was entertaining. every piece of art he made was really, really dirty. a giant rooster painting he called "my big cock." another one called "two dik-diks in a bush" and then we discussed whether dik-dik is pronounced dick dick or dyke dyke. these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dik_dik are dik-diks.

poor guy couldn't go to a restaurant or grocery store because it could kill him. he'd keep a piece of clay with a bunch of razor blades stuck into it on his desk and when people would ask, "what's that for?" he'd say, "for when i am ready to die." but he'd laugh.

his feet turned greenish blue for a while because his stomach was all fucked up. i don't even understand it, but he was sick a whole lot. awesome, though. taking motorcycle riding lessons and his wife protested, saying "that's dangerous!" and he said, "going to a restaurant is dangerous too."

i miss him, he was a great teacher. but very, very weird.

[Howie]

my best teacher was the finnish linguistics professor
looked like a member of the swedish bikini team
what great sweater puppets she had

i don't remember what the subject of the course was

[ttacg]

A gym teacher I used to have (real douche) just had his nose broken by some parent. It's been on the news here. They showed his picture on the news, I just laughed.  

[Sambuca]

I went to a "gifted" grammar school where kids are supposed to act "gifted," I guess.  So my friends and I who would constantly goof off and cause trouble were kind of known as misfits.  It was obvious many teachers in the school didn't think we belonged there.  

Well one day I was being my usual annoying self during 6th grade math class.  This year we had a new math teacher... some Latino lady who thought she was tough shit.  She kept trying to shut me up, but I wouldn't stop making stupid comments and finally she snapped and let loose on me.  

She was screaming at me in front of the whole class.... "You think you are so funny, but wait till you get older.... you are gonna be nothing but a loser....  a bum on the streets....  you will have no home or job and no one is going to help you!!"  My friend chimed in "I'll help him," and she sent us both to the principals office.  

They called our parents as usual.   My parents didn't really care much about petty shit because I was a pretty good kid.  When I got home I explained to them what Ms. Navarro had said to me in front of the class.  Well my Mom didn't appreciate that much.  She took the next day off work and went down to have a meeting with Ms. Navarro and our assistant principal.  

The meeting started and Ms. Navarro waisted no time getting defensive..  She started to break out into her little ghetto Latino finger pointing thing.  Well my Mom was the wrong person to do that to because she basically reached across the table grabbed her finger and told her if she ever talked to her son that way again that she would fuckin kill her.... and never again try to pull that little gangsta act on her because she would kick her ass in front of the whole school.  

The assistant principal just let this happen and Ms. Navarro just sat back down speechless.  She got owned and she couldn't do shit about it.  For the rest of the year math class was pretty awkward though until the bitch got fired.  

Wow that was a long story.  I hope someone read it.

[AnDi-ChRiSt]

I went to a "gifted" grammar school where kids are supposed to act "gifted," I guess.  So my friends and I who would constantly goof off and cause trouble were kind of known as misfits.  It was obvious many teachers in the school didn't think we belonged there.  

Well one day I was being my usual annoying self during 6th grade math class.  This year we had a new math teacher... some Latino lady who thought she was tough shit.  She kept trying to shut me up, but I wouldn't stop making stupid comments and finally she snapped and let loose on me.  

She was screaming at me in front of the whole class.... "You think you are so funny, but wait till you get older.... you are gonna be nothing but a loser....  a bum on the streets....  you will have no home or job and no one is going to help you!!"  My friend chimed in "I'll help him," and she sent us both to the principals office.  

They called our parents as usual.   My parents didn't really care much about petty shit because I was a pretty good kid.  When I got home I explained to them what Ms. Navarro had said to me in front of the class.  Well my Mom didn't appreciate that much.  She took the next day off work and went down to have a meeting with Ms. Navarro and our assistant principal.  

The meeting started and Ms. Navarro waisted no time getting defensive..  She started to break out into her little ghetto Latino finger pointing thing.  Well my Mom was the wrong person to do that to because she basically reached across the table grabbed her finger and told her if she ever talked to her son that way again that she would fuckin kill her.... and never again try to pull that little gangsta act on her because she would kick her ass in front of the whole school.  

The assistant principal just let this happen and Ms. Navarro just sat back down speechless.  She got owned and she couldn't do shit about it.  For the rest of the year math class was pretty awkward though until the bitch got fired.  

Wow that was a long story.  I hope someone read it.

wow. Yay Mom!

best part: "I'll help him!!"  

[Kristel]

When I was in highschool there was this one girl who thought she owned the world and everything in it. Unfortunately for her she was quit flatchested, something that did not fit in to her perfect little image.
So, obviously she would stuff her bra.

One day we went swimming with our gymclass and the stupid little ... stuffed her bikini as well. Needless to say that the popping out of all the stuffing when she jumped in the pool was hilarious.

A few days later we're having french and this guy was a cool but mean bugger.
He had heard of this event and seemed to have been waiting for this.
The moment she walked into to the room he began to rant about beauty ideals, stuffed bras, people with attitude and how hilarious it would be if the above described swimsuitthing would happen.

The girl was looking around quite nervious trying to avoid eye-contact with the teacher but he approached her and said: oh wait, that's right: "that did happen to you".

She cried.

I really disliked that girl but that was one of the meanest things I had ever seen a teacher do.  

[Howie]

that reminds me, in fourth grade this kid was goofing off, and our teacher, this 60 year old lady, got so pissed she sent him out to sit in the hall, which our teachers did alot back then
she was so mad she slammed the door behind him so hard the glass window in the door shattered
he got cut up a little by the glass

[Huldrekat]

Did you guys have corporal punishment in school like we did in Britain?  Can't remember what year it got banned off the top of my head, but I remember it well from primary school.  Weapon of choice where I went was a heavy leather strap with a split down the middle.  The meaner teachers would make kids hold out their hands an inch or two above a table top so that the backs of their hands would whack down on this when they got hit.  Never got it myself - I was a good kid - but I remember one of my friends actually getting down on his hands and knees in floods of tears in front of the entire class, begging teach not to belt him.  By all accounts it really did fucking hurt badly.

[HolteEnder]

I had a teacher called Norman Conquest.  No tales of him hitting boys or hitting on girls - just that his name is highly amusing.   It's a pity he taught chemistry rather than history, though.

hahahaha. what cruel parents.

we had an art teacher called John Lydon. nobody but me found that amusing though, because the rest of the class were all Bros fans.  

And he had a big nose and he was a Man Shitty fan.

I'll always remember Mr. Ventham with his huge sweat patches.

[plusone]

My wife's friend had her parents called in to her high school to discuse her "distracting"(gothish, all black ect.) atire in school. They showed up dressed head to toe in black, with black lipstick and eyeliner and calmly said "so, what's the problem?"

[[KyussLovesGlitter]]

My English professor looks exactly like Garth Marenghi. I think he's gay though.

haha oh man, i though i was the only one who knew about that show

Nope!

I'm sort of ashamed that I like it, but I do.

AS <3

[Lams]

my chemestry teacher spent most of the class time talking about football, chess, and how he fucked his girlfriend last night. the boys loved those classes, but the girls hated. anyway, i always had the max grade, 5/5, so i dont really cared.

and yes, almost every male gym teacher is a pedo. and every female gym teacher is a bitch i hate. also, i had one philosophy teacher who only gave high grades to the girls. and thats why i fucking hate philosophy.

[brixton bruxelles]

I had a teacher called Norman Conquest.  No tales of him hitting boys or hitting on girls - just that his name is highly amusing.   It's a pity he taught chemistry rather than history, though.

hahahaha. what cruel parents.

we had an art teacher called John Lydon. nobody but me found that amusing though, because the rest of the class were all Bros fans.  

And he had a big nose and he was a Man Shitty fan.

I'll always remember Mr. Ventham with his huge sweat patches.

yeah, lydon had a gargantuan nose. he reminded me a bit of old bobby robson.

ventham was sweaty as hell, as was clifton. except clifton was a legend. have you seen that pic of him on facebook with all the loo roll on his head?

[rainelinden]

I've just remembered that when I was in Senior Infants (equivalent to 2nd grade I think) my teacher got so pissed off with a girl who had ADD (and just kept randomly standing up and running around the class, all the time) that she taped her to a chair.

I believe she was asked to go on leave for her mental health and never came back...........

[HolteEnder]

I had a teacher called Norman Conquest.  No tales of him hitting boys or hitting on girls - just that his name is highly amusing.   It's a pity he taught chemistry rather than history, though.

hahahaha. what cruel parents.

we had an art teacher called John Lydon. nobody but me found that amusing though, because the rest of the class were all Bros fans.  

And he had a big nose and he was a Man Shitty fan.

I'll always remember Mr. Ventham with his huge sweat patches.

yeah, lydon had a gargantuan nose. he reminded me a bit of old bobby robson.

ventham was sweaty as hell, as was clifton. except clifton was a legend. have you seen that pic of him on facebook with all the loo roll on his head?

Haha, yeah I can see that comparison. His wife was a fucking dick. Hated her.

Yeah Clifton is amazing. Have you seen http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KlTfrNES92o ?

Haha I love that group. I remember they set up a myspace group and Cooper found it, she demanded it be take down.

[brixton bruxelles]

I've just remembered that when I was in Senior Infants (equivalent to 2nd grade I think) my teacher got so pissed off with a girl who had ADD (and just kept randomly standing up and running around the class, all the time) that she taped her to a chair.

I believe she was asked to go on leave for her mental health and never came back...........

my sister got her ankle tied to her chair and desk with string when she was 12 and kept wandering out of the room during a  detention. she thought it was hilarious though, and walked around the block dragging the desk and chair with her.

holtender, that was at rmgs too! i think it was mrs testa that did it. she also slapped my sister around the head with a book for mouthing off at her. my sis got expelled in the end, and the only school that would take her was the catholic st john fisher

[brixton bruxelles]

Yeah Clifton is amazing. Have you seen http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KlTfrNES92o ?

Haha I love that group. I remember they set up a myspace group and Cooper found it, she demanded it be take down.

that's great. nice tie, clifton!
i like how he rips the piss out of frau cooper there. she was an awesome teacher, but moody as hell.

edit: did that first teacher mention mrs o rourke? that dykey p.e. teacher? poison dwarf?!