The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
0
English To Become Europes Only Language...
Started by Hellb0und, May 16 2008 05:37 AM
17 replies to this topic
#1
Hellb0und
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Qotsa Boss
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Posted 16 May 2008 - 05:37 AM
#3
Brian Damage
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Rubble Raiser
Posted 16 May 2008 - 06:16 AM
Well, it's about time. Only problem I forsee, spellcheck will cause pc's to meltdown.
#4
nessa
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Posted 16 May 2008 - 06:52 AM
old stuff is old 
22/06/2007 Hurricane Festival, Germany | 16/11/2007 Dortmund, Germany | 17/11/2007 Stuttgart, Germany | 21/11/2007 Hamburg, Germany | 16/02/2008 Barcelona, Spain | 21/02/2008 Vienna, Austria | 23/02/2008 Hamburg, Germany | 24/02/2008 Copenhagen, Denmark | 25/02/2008 Stockholm, Sweden | 01/03/2008 Luxemburg, Luxemburg | 30/05/2008 Pinkpop Festival, Netherlands | 02/06/2008 Groningen, Netherlands | 03/06/2008 Berlin, Germany | 11/06/2008 Bergen, Norway | 13/06/2008 Oslo, Norway | 24/08/2010 Berlin, Germany | 25/08/2010 Hamburg, Germany | 10/05/2011 Munich, Germany
#5
idaho89
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Posted 16 May 2008 - 06:54 AM
Deutschland über alles 
Positive rate. Gear up.
#6
nessa
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Posted 16 May 2008 - 07:08 AM
22/06/2007 Hurricane Festival, Germany | 16/11/2007 Dortmund, Germany | 17/11/2007 Stuttgart, Germany | 21/11/2007 Hamburg, Germany | 16/02/2008 Barcelona, Spain | 21/02/2008 Vienna, Austria | 23/02/2008 Hamburg, Germany | 24/02/2008 Copenhagen, Denmark | 25/02/2008 Stockholm, Sweden | 01/03/2008 Luxemburg, Luxemburg | 30/05/2008 Pinkpop Festival, Netherlands | 02/06/2008 Groningen, Netherlands | 03/06/2008 Berlin, Germany | 11/06/2008 Bergen, Norway | 13/06/2008 Oslo, Norway | 24/08/2010 Berlin, Germany | 25/08/2010 Hamburg, Germany | 10/05/2011 Munich, Germany
#7
idaho89
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Posted 16 May 2008 - 07:11 AM
Positive rate. Gear up.
#9
Darbi
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the mule want it.....sunday.....
Posted 16 May 2008 - 08:29 AM
QUOTE(Hellb0und @ May 15 2008, 10:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
hahahaha!!!! BUT...
unacceptable.
#10
gopher.18
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Posted 16 May 2008 - 08:36 AM
ahahahaha 
#11
Alter ego: Ash
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burn the witch
Posted 16 May 2008 - 08:44 AM
DANK!DANK!DANK!DANK!
#12
juhakoo
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Cocaine, Mark. Cocaine.
Posted 16 May 2008 - 10:14 AM
ve haff ways of making you talk
#13
oombongaleywa
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which doctor
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Posted 16 May 2008 - 10:43 AM
QUOTE(juhakoo @ May 17 2008, 12:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ve haff ways of making you talk
great grand papa told it as, ve have vays of making you tock. something about timepieces scares my people to this day.
#16 Guest_duasoul_*
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Posted 16 May 2008 - 01:00 PM
QUOTE(oombongaleywa @ May 16 2008, 06:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE(juhakoo @ May 17 2008, 12:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ve haff ways of making you talk
great grand papa told it as, ve have vays of making you tock. something about timepieces scares my people to this day.
#17
infiltrator
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Monster in a camisole
Posted 16 May 2008 - 01:05 PM
QUOTE(Hellb0und @ May 16 2008, 07:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
I've seen this before, but at first I only read this part and thought: Damn!!!! One more vote and America would have been ours too!!!
#18
BillyJ
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Master Of Sparks
Posted 16 May 2008 - 01:14 PM
haha awesome
I''ll start today, to get used, by not making any effort whatsoever to hide my accent. It will be close.
I''ll start today, to get used, by not making any effort whatsoever to hide my accent. It will be close.
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