107 replies to this topic

[Courtney]

Sadly not the show...



Anyone else have crazy extended family? Aunts, uncles, cousins are just bat shit crazy and they are oblivious to this fact? I could write a book about the crazy shit about aunts/uncles/family vacations.

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway) so he doesn't have to work. He lays at home watching tv and eating. He has consistently been leeching of my grandparents since his 20s and he is now 45 years old. Last summer he asks my dad to help re-landscape( aka pay for the plants and do the labor) his house because he wants to see it and get a smaller home. My dad agrees to help him out when he goes to visit Milwaukee and asks if I would. Im close to my dad and dont want him to work alone because we all know my uncle wont help. My uncle says he will keep up the garden and already has perspective buyers. Within two weeks we stop by to see the garden...every plant is dead and weeds have taken over. He never tried to sell the house and is staying there because my grandparents will pay for him.

Tonight my uncle called my mom to see if she would help him out with some bills. She asked how much and his wonderful response, " $10,000" my mom just hung up on him. He tried to guilt my mom by saying we never help him out or care about him. Does anyone else have family members who just have no fucking tether to reality? I surely can not be the only one with disfunctional family.




Tell us about your crazy family members.

[Howie]

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway)

he is disabled.   he's addicted to heroin.

[Courtney]

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway)

he is disabled.   he's addicted to heroin.

He is too disabled to work? His doctor encourages him to work but he wont. I just can't believe he thinks we should take care him like he is a baby. He is 45 fucking years old, he needs to grow the fuck up.

[kyussfreak]

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway)

he is disabled. he's addicted to heroin.

He is too disabled to work? His doctor encourages him to work but he wont. I just can't believe he thinks we should take care him like he is a baby. He is 45 fucking years old, he needs to grow the fuck up.

everyone has fucked up people in there families. i dont even want to get into mine. ill just tell you about my cousin. she gets 200,000 a year until she dies from her grandpas inheritence. she cant keep straight. she had a fucking meth lab in her backyard

[Howie]

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway)

he is disabled.   he's addicted to heroin.

He is too disabled to work? His doctor encourages him to work but he wont. I just can't believe he thinks we should take care him like he is a baby. He is 45 fucking years old, he needs to grow the fuck up.

no, he's not too disabled to work.  he sounds like a lazy bum.
lots of the methadone patients i work with are legitimately disabled though, so i got on my soap box for a minute there

[Courtney]

Woah, that is shitty kyussfreak.

My best friend came up to Milwaukee to hit a few concerts and she was shocked by my dad's side of the family. She looked at me and said, "wow, you can't make this shit up."


EDIT: I know what you're saying, he is disabled in a different capacity. He use to work at the post office, but he says he shouldnt have to work.

[kyussfreak]

Woah, that is shitty kyussfreak.

My best friend came up to Milwaukee to hit a few concerts and she was shocked by my dad's side of the family. She looked at me and said, "wow, you can't make this shit up."

yeah im not going to go on about my family but the are the most backwards fucks in the world. my cousins mom is broke because she had to pay all her daughters legals fees. she had a daughter that died at 1 years old. it is my theory that the baby got an oxycontin.when you are rich you can get out of everything

[Spaghettaboutit]

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway)

I SWEAR EVERYONE has an uncle that's a heroin addict....mine ODed and died(not like them faking it emo whores attention that "OD" on light pain killers), from an "accidental" amount of heroin...uh like he meant to take it...but not that much....uh this was about....2 and a half years ago...uh sometime in August 2006...anyhow I have a friend or two that have lost their heroin addict uncles....

[StrangeLight]

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway)

he is disabled.   he's addicted to heroin.

He is too disabled to work? His doctor encourages him to work but he wont. I just can't believe he thinks we should take care him like he is a baby. He is 45 fucking years old, he needs to grow the fuck up.

i know someone addicted to heroin that hasn't left her block in vancouver for 10 years. she hasn't crossed the street in 10 years. not even to get heroin, she gets it delivered.

i also know someone who employs a lot of drug addicts to work construction for him because he's a recovered/recovering addict himself and feels for them. he had this one guy who was a heroin addict and completely useless, they lost more money on him that they made from his labour, but he kept him on anyway. used to actually send him out to buy heroin and shoot up because that was the only way he'd do anything productive. helped the guy get clean by giving him paid leave of work to go to rehab, and about a year ago wrote a rather glowing letter of recommendation for him to get a job working for some medical supply company. the whole "he turned his life around" story. and he really did, the guy cleaned up and got himself back on track. but when he was using? he couldn't really work. it was his boss's twisted sense of charity that kept him employed.



edit: and my cousin was addicted to heroin. disappeared completely for two or three years with some wannabe rockstar to spain. eventually my uncle, ex-royal air force, managed to track her location down and went down to this junk house to drag her out of there. supposedly she had a needle in her arm when he got there. now, about 5 or 6 years later, she's clean, has a fiance and soon-to-be stepchildren that adore her, and she's leading one of the major construction projects for the london 2012 olympics. that's my "people can turn it around" story.

my dad's side of the family, the entire family, is hopelessly fucked up, though.

[Spaghettaboutit]

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway)

he is disabled.   he's addicted to heroin.

He is too disabled to work? His doctor encourages him to work but he wont. I just can't believe he thinks we should take care him like he is a baby. He is 45 fucking years old, he needs to grow the fuck up.

i know someone addicted to heroin that hasn't left her block in vancouver for 10 years. she hasn't crossed the street in 10 years. not even to get heroin, she gets it delivered.

i also know someone who employs a lot of drug addicts to work construction for him because he's a recovered/recovering addict himself and feels for them. he had this one guy who was a heroin addict and completely useless, they lost more money on him that they made from his labour, but he kept him on anyway. used to actually send him out to buy heroin and shoot up because that was the only way he'd do anything productive. helped the guy get clean by giving him paid leave of work to go to rehab, and about a year ago wrote a rather glowing letter of recommendation for him to get a job working for some medical supply company. the whole "he turned his life around" story. and he really did, the guy cleaned up and got himself back on track. but when he was using? he couldn't really work. it was his boss's twisted sense of charity that kept him employed.

My uncle that ODed used to do construction....

[Courtney]

My uncle is an heroin addict and has been on methadone for 10 years. He is unemployed and currently trying to get disability (he isn't disabled in anyway)

I SWEAR EVERYONE has an uncle that's a heroin addict....mine ODed and died(not like them faking it emo whores attention that "OD" on light pain killers), from an "accidental" amount of heroin...uh like he meant to take it...but not that much....uh this was about....2 and a half years ago...uh sometime in August 2006...anyhow I have a friend or two that have lost their heroin addict uncles....

Yeah my uncle started with booze. My dad's family was working class milwaukee and so my dad had to pay for everything himself. So for years my dad ran a paper route and made good money. My dad bought a car nothing fancy but something to take him to school and the paper shack. Sunday morning my dad wakes up and his car is gone. My dad runs into his brothers room asked...says he knows nothing. He finds the car totaled a block away from the house...his brother wrecked it while driving drunk. Then about 15 years ago, the first time he bought heroin he got the shit beat out of him. He almost died due to the beating...but he went back.

[Tatonka Blanco]

most of my family is reasonably normal and pretty spread out across the country.


however i have one cousin who lives a few hours away from me. she is a couple years older than me and i hadn't seen her since i was probably 14 or something until recently. we hung out at my other cousin's wedding in detroit a while back....she seemed a little spaced out but basically cool. so then a while after that she arranged to come up here and hang out for a day or two with her boyfriend. so i went and met them at a bar around 1 in the afternoon or something.....we hit a few more bars and then went to have lunch around probably 3 at a brazilian restaurant. apparently although me and her boyfriend were both just kinda buzzed....she was fucking shitfaced and ended up wandering off and disappearing for like an hour or something. finally the boyfriend finds her and she had just like walked up to some fucking crackhead in downtown seattle and gone with him so he could score her some coke or some shit.....when the boyfriend found her she was like half unconscious on a park bench with a bag of crabmeat or something she had apparently purchased. later when we got back to my house they went into the guest room and my roomate and i could hear her balling her eyes out and shit....freaking out. then for the rest of the night and the next morning they had really loud horrible sounding sex.


what a fucking nightmare. first of all i expect an older cousin to be able to hold their booze at least as well as me.....second if you want fucking drugs tell me and i'll get you some drugs....only a child or a mental defective buys drugs from fucking street people. thirdly noone wants to listen to their cousin getting fucked in the ass 4 or 5 times. i feel sort of bad, but i have pretty much avoided all contact with her since then.

[TheAceRock.]

damn, i thought this was going to be about the show.  


i'm not even fully aware of how crazy my dad's family is because i've been kept in the dark. an example.... my dad's father died shortly before i was born. not once when i was growing up was my dad's mother mentioned. so i just assumed that she was dead. then around christmas 2000, i stumbled upon these cards addressed to me and my brother from "Grandmother (my last name)." needless to say, i was a little perplexed by this. fast forward three years, i was talking with my mom and somehow we got on the subject of my dad's family. she mentioned that my dad's mother is (or was at the time) alive but locked up in some sort of home because "she talks to the pipes in the walls." and apparently, no one from my dad's family has any contact with her.

so, i think i qualify.

[Disco.Dinosaur]

on the side of my father our family is pretty strange, too. my grandma who passed away almost nine years ago threatened my mother with a kitchen-knife because she always hated her but told me how much she likes her when i was eleven.

one of my dad's brothers is a convicted criminal for trafficking young girls from thailand. i've luckily never met him. my dad is crazy on some parts but nothing like his brother.

and my brother can't get his shit together. he's never done anything proper or successful since graduating from school at age 17. he's a fulltime lazy bum now and lives with me and my mom.

[Cool Hand]

I'm pretty much the black sheep of the family. We're a boring bunch.

[Hotsy Totsy]

Hmm... everybody has their little quirks. I'd say for the most part my family is fairly "normal" they just do weird things from time to time.

My favorite story about stupid shit my family's done... Before I was born my brother was doing research for school project he was doing on aliens. They lived in Atlanta at the time, so he started looking through old newspapers to see if he could find anything about alien sightings or whatever. He found a news clipping at my grandparent's house about an alien sighting in the middle of downtown Atlanta in the late 40's. With that clipping was another article that talked about my grandfather being arrested for larceny. Apparently... my grandfather and some of his buddies got real drunk, broke into the Atlanta Zoo, stole a chimp, shaved it, painted it green, tied a rope around it and stuck it out in the middle of I-75. Oh those wacky hillbillies... had the whole metro Atlanta area thinking they were being invaded by martians.

Let's see... my great uncle killed his wife, and is serving life in prison. My step brother had a mental meltdown and now lives like a mountain man in a cave in a state park somewhere in north georgia.

[thehorsemon]

Living in cave is actually starting to sound kinda nice too bad, I need some much medication else I'd already be there. My uncle on my mom's side an adult retard, a few years back he went and chopped down a telephone pole or something like that, he currently lives in an assisted living home, even though he's several years younger than my mom. Also on my mom's side is an aunt living down south somewhere. She's one of the nuts that thought the world was going to end in 2000, her daughter my cousin is a lesbian, who hooks and has some kind of crotch rot.

[Edna 90]

Alcoholism, depression and eating disorders are run through my family.
i do have 40 aunts and uncles tho.
Messy.

[Kickstand27]

i wouldnt even know where to begin, describing the insanity that is my family

[Fatty Softy]

I have an uncle with Diabetes.

[nurse_kagome]

Everyone's family is a bit strange I would say.  My little brother probably has either paranoid schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.  He started to get really weird after his best friend died of alcohol poisoning 3 years ago.  That was a tough time in everyone's life that I knew, the kid who died was a really close friend of the family, I thought of him like a brother.  He was even in my husbands band.  

After that happened though, my brother just started acting weird.  Talking of crazy shit to people, calling in the middle of the night rambling on about really weird things.  I thought he was doing meth or some other drug but can never find any solid evidence that he really is.  Once he called me in the middle of the night, totally manic and started talking how cool it would be to mate with tigers.  That was weird.  And he came back to stay with my parents recently and woke them up at 3 am all paranoid that aliens were trying to get into the house and the house wasn't secure.  Really freaked my parents out and me too when they told me about that.  I have tried to get him to go get some help, to talk to someone but he won't, stating that he is just fine.  

He really worries me though, I am constantly on the verge of driving to Topeka, where he lives and dragging his ass into a mental health clinic.

[Courtney]

Everyone's family is a bit strange I would say.  My little brother probably has either paranoid schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.  He started to get really weird after his best friend died of alcohol poisoning 3 years ago.  That was a tough time in everyone's life that I knew, the kid who died was a really close friend of the family, I thought of him like a brother.  He was even in my husbands band.  

After that happened though, my brother just started acting weird.  Talking of crazy shit to people, calling in the middle of the night rambling on about really weird things.  I thought he was doing meth or some other drug but can never find any solid evidence that he really is.  Once he called me in the middle of the night, totally manic and started talking how cool it would be to mate with tigers.  That was weird.  And he came back to stay with my parents recently and woke them up at 3 am all paranoid that aliens were trying to get into the house and the house wasn't secure.  Really freaked my parents out and me too when they told me about that.  I have tried to get him to go get some help, to talk to someone but he won't, stating that he is just fine.  

He really worries me though, I am constantly on the verge of driving to Topeka, where he lives and dragging his ass into a mental health clinic.

Here is another kicker, my uncle is a manic depressive. My dad has tried to get him into treatment involuntarily but no clinics in Wisconsin will do that. I was told before that nowhere in the US can you involuntarily put someone into a mental health facility unless they were a threat to themselves or others. The problem is how do you prove he is a threat to himself besides the obvious?

[Juicy]

hahaha "crab meat "  hahahahhaha why am i laughing at that.



my family is pretty awesome.   but yeah I got some crazies.  

3 of my brothers are addicts.  
one is now in recovery,
at 19 i had to help him and his family get thier lives together so that the kids weren't taken away.  
his portion of money from his company I put in a trust for his kids. a 35 year old man had to get an allowence from his 19 year old sister.
his wife was a coke whore
she stole clothes from me and tried to burn down my office.  hahah
my brother has stole at least 300,000 from my father in his lifetime.
my uncle was a drug lord, kinda like the movie american gangster. he's in jail for like 200 years or some shit.
I have an aunt that eats cat food. HAHAHAH

having family that are so out of control is draining.  

I think I'm the only normal one. hahaha

[Fatty Softy]

Man, my family are really normal, some of your stories are just unbelievable (not that I'm saying there not true, just wow). The only real crazy drama that I've ever had was when one of my best friends had a bipolar mania trip. He though he was a stand up comedian, didn't sleep, lost his job, got kicked out of his house. We had to get him committed. I never want to go through something like that again.

[Juicy]

oh fatty, maybe you'll be a the family crazy.


I'm pretty normal compared to most of my family honestly dont know how I'm so grounded in all the mess.  but my moms side is pretty normal and boring.  it's just my canadian side.

[Courtney]

my mom was a heroin addict, dead at 43, you don't even have to explain.

my dad was great though, thank god he raised me and left that whooooaw face when i was 4.

i do remember her constant extortion plots, kidnapping me when i was 11 (she actually went to jail for this. 3 years) her creepy boyfriends.

ooof.

Goddamn Cheri, I never knew. Good thing you turned out relatively normal and a sweet person. A lot of times that stuff can turn people sour. My little cousin is is 11 now and hates being seen in public with her dad. She is in middle school and last week someone told the class that her dad was "a crazed nut who is into drugs." She also has issues...such as copying me, etc.

The whole kidnapping thing reminds me of a trip I was on in California. Aunt's friend met us there via truck driver, her face was busted in. She claimed he kidnapped her and beat her. Turns out she was dating him to use him as a free ride to california. He found out and took a tire iron to her face.

[Hotsy Totsy]

My mom's side of the family literally lives on a sort of commune on a swamp. One of her backwoods aunts told her that the only way to keep your man from cheating was to put a few drops of your menstration in his coffee.  

Needless to say, we never ate at her house.

[Fatty Softy]

oh fatty, maybe you'll be a the family crazy.

I doubt some of my family even knows what crack is.
"He's addicted to what?"

[Mariss]

Imagine making yourself an waterbed. What do you do? You grab your saw and make an hole in your matress fill it up with coke bottles filled with hot water.
Imagine that you think the walls are cold. What do you do? You nail an electric blanket to the wall because you're scared of electricity in bed.
Imagine that you once entered an rabbit contest and lost. What do you do? You order an cab in the middle of the night, get yourself a bottle of cognac and a box of cigars to pass the time driving 2,5 hours to an farm in the middle of nowhere. You actually fall into a small river with algy (?). You ring the door, wet, covered in shit from the river and say to the farmer in the middle of the night that you want to buy his rabbit. Pay him 1000 and get the cab back home.
Imagine that you want to make a cage for your rabbit. What do you do? Destroy all of the kitchen closets and doors in your home and make one out of that!

Basically my granduncle in a nutshell.